[Pokémon X&Y] My (M37) friend (M32?) keeps alienating everyone we know (...)

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Title: My (M37) friend (M32?) keeps alienating everyone we know with the way he presents his opinions
Fandom: Pokémon X&Y
Pairing: Professor Augustine Sycamore/Lysandre
Rating: T
Summary: I have this friend I met a few years ago. He works near where I work and we have similar interests so we ended up meeting and getting along. He's very intelligent and passionate and also very handsome, but he has one fatal flaw: he doesn't know how to restrain himself.
Notes: Written for Writer's Month, for the prompt: flag. This is a reddit parody. With special thanks to jonphaedrus and friends for the funny username suggestions.
AO3 Link: Here.

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r/relationship_advice • submitted 14 hours ago by u/marissonthrow

My (M37) friend (M32?) keeps alienating everyone we know with the way he presents his opinions

Throwaway for privacy. I don't think my friend uses reddit or at least I don't think he browses advice subs.

Okay, so please bear with me because I know what this sounds like. I have this friend I met a few years ago. He works near where I work and we have similar interests so we ended up meeting and getting along. He's very intelligent and passionate and also very handsome, but he has one fatal flaw: he doesn't know how to restrain himself. He has very little tact and a tendency to go on rants about things that aren't conducive to civil conversation. I know him so I know it sounds worse than what he actually means but obviously when he's around strangers they take him to his word and it creates really awkward situations. I'll give a few examples if that helps.

So recently we were hanging out together at a bar. One of our mutual friends (or acquaintances I suppose. I don't know if he has friends other than me really.) was there and he started talking to her about her job. Honestly I thought it was going pretty well but then he said something that could be understood as an insult and she got mad (with good reasons!) so they started arguing. I tried to calm things down but it didn't work and she stormed off. When I told him he was rude to her he said he was just telling the truth and that she probably agreed with him but didn't want to admit it. I told him he was being an as*hole (can I swear on this subreddit?) and he got mad at me for swearing. Didn't deny it tho.

Another example. We were at my place of work and one of my colleagues got mixed up and said something about I think it was slugmas' preferred habitat? that was wrong. He told her it was wrong (which is fine) and then he started rambling about people being unwilling to look into less popular pokémons and something about young people lacking the drive to learn new things. My assistant didn't get mad (actually most people don't get mad and just avoid him because he is a bit intimidating. Our mutual friend from the previous example is an exception) but she looked at me like it was my fault and then excused herself. He was still ranting btw I don't think he even noticed she was gone. When he was done (I didn't interrupt him because it was interesting and I like it when he talks about things he is passionate about.) I told him I think he upset her. He said who and I said my colleague and he said oh. Which makes me think maybe he does it accidentally sometimes?

Anyway you get the picture. I care about him a lot and he's a very good friend to me but it's awkward to be around him and see that everyone else is looking at me like I'm weird for even being friends with him. I was wondering if anyone here has any advice for how to either make him understand what he's doing wrong or train him into doing it less. Thank you in advance

dixietorchics

your friend sounds like a nightmare tbh. can't help but notice he's doing it to women in your two examples too. so he's a misogynist also

marissonthrow • OP

No he does it to everyone. Recently he told one of my (male) colleagues that he was holding a squirtle wrong because he wasn't making sure the shell was well supported. Which was true but not really his place to say because he doesn't work here

But I see what you mean. I'll talk to our mutual friend about it see what she says

Dunce_parse

OP do you hear yourself? Everytime you're explaining something this guy is doing wrong you're like oh but he was right though. Who cares if he's right if he's being a dick!!! Maybe he keeps doing it because you're enabling him!!!

marissonthrow • OP

I don't think I'm enabling him I'm just trying to make the situation clear so people can get an unbiased view of the situation

Blasting_Off_Ur_Mom

dude u started yuor description of this guy with "he's intelligent and handsome" how is that unbiased exactly???

marissonthrow • OP

He's objectively handsome what do you want me to say. He's tall and muscled and takes great care of his body. That is an unbiased account of the situation

rhydon_deez_nuts 🥇

Hey op be honest and unbiased with me for a sec: does his dick taste good

eta: thanks for the gold LMFAO

dont_fckle_with_shckle

what do you mean "train" him he's a guy not a pokémon you can't teach him tricks. just tell him to stop being up his own ass

marissonthrow • OP

I mean I've been able to teach a lot of mean pokémons to behave through reinforcing positive behavior so I thought maybe there was a way to do that in this situation.

PM_me_shiny_caterpies

literally WHAT positive behavior everything you've said about this guy makes it clear he's horrible

marissonthrow • OP

Fair.

Cwefaiwy

OP are you sure this man is your friend? The way you talk about him makes it sound like you might be a little too into him...

marissonthrow • OP

I mean he's very hot but I don't think he sees me that way. I've tried making my interest known but he wasn't very responsive. This post isn't about that tho

BigMommyMiltanks

mate this post is 100% about that. the reason why your "friend" is still acting like a dick is because you're not calling him out hard enough because you're attracted to him. simple as that. altho honestly maybe getting laid would make him less insufferable

marissonthrow • OP

Do you really think so?

herduliekmudkipz

oh my god.

Tortella

I mean at this point it's not like it can get much worse. Might as well get your dick wet before you alienate your whole circle.

uwuooloo

you guys are so fucking weird i swear this dude just wants to help his friend be less bad at socializing.

TokyoMewTwo

OP you seem very sweet and well-intentioned so I'll try my best to be understanding. It's hard to accept that someone you care about just plain sucks but to be honest your friend is like. Waving so many red flags 🚩🚩🚩 he's a parade all on his own.

🚩 I know someone already pointed it out but I'll reiterate: your examples are both women. From what you're saying it happens a lot with your mutual friend too. So your friend is a serial mansplainer.

🚩 You say he's "a bit intimidating" so people usually don't even bother arguing back. Do you not see how shitty that is? Your friend literally takes advantage of the fact that he's scary-looking to scare others into compliance. Awful.

🚩 In one of your comments you mention he corrected your colleague where you work when he doesn't even work there. What the fuck? Who does that? You mentioned that when he was arguing with your mutual friend it was about her job too. Does he just think he knows better than everyone else?

🚩 What do you mean "things that aren't conducive to civil conversation"? I haven't seen you answer that yet. Is it politics? Is he a conspiracy nut? Does he go around telling people Team Magma was right about the water thing?

🚩 "When I told him he was rude to her he said he was just telling the truth and that she probably agreed with him but didn't want to admit it." I hope I don't need to explain how fucked that is. If he's like that with everyone it's no wonder he doesn't have friends. Why are you even friends with him in the first place?

🚩 "something about young people lacking the drive to learn new things." Are you sure he's 32?? He sounds 60.

🚩 Actually that's a red flag in itself. He's 32. He's not going to change. I think you're giving him too much credit.

By the way yes you can swear in this subreddit.

DELELELELEBWOOP

I mean I think the reason why he's friends with him is pretty clear lol

marissonthrow • OP

I don't think he does the scaring others into shutting up thing on purpose is the thing. It's just how he acts. He has a really bad case of resting bitchface

I don't want to get into it too much because I'm worried it'll deanon us. But basically he has strong opinions about the state of the world and what should be done to fix it. He works hard to make the world a better place but it's taking a toll on him and I feel like maybe it's also why he's like this in a way which is why I'd like to help

toppercentagerattata

what does he think needs to be done to fix it op i'm at the edge of my seat

marissonthrow • OP

I can't answer that sorry. But think something on the level of the Team Magma thing u/TokyoMewTwo mentioned

toppercentagerattata

he wants to get rid of the water?????

marissonthrow • OP

I said "on the level" not "the exact same thing"

DELELELELEBWOOP

Is your friend from Team Aqua.....???

NoneChewOnlyEat

you should give him an ultimatum. either he stops being a huge pain in the ass or you won't hang out with him anymore. if he drops you you no longer have to drag a huge asshole around. if he agrees he'll hopefully learn to be less of a huge asshole. win-win

ponderingmyvoltorb

op isn't going to do that because that involves the possibility he won't be able to be around his hot muscled friend anymore

marissonthrow • OP

Maybe I'll try that. He does seem to value our friendship. The last time he upset our mutual friend I actually snapped at him and he was really sweet the rest of the evening. I actually felt a little bad.

MxPokemon

Hey OP have you ever thought that maybe he's acting out around you because he wants you to get mad at him? Just something to think about.

marissonthrow • OP

I don't understand what you mean. Why would he want me to be mad at him? We're friends.

MxPokemon

I'm just saying you know, a big guy... used to being the one intimidating others into silence... maybe he wants you to shut him up

marissonthrow • OP

I don't think it's like that but I'll keep that in mind.

PikachusbuttholeXD

hey op what do you do for a living that involves you having an "assistant" and handling dangerous pokémons

DELELELELEBWOOP

What if he's a pokémon professor lmao wouldn't that be crazy. Maybe this is professor Oak or something

SammyOaksWife

I don't think Professor Oak has any threatening friend who's also a mansplainer who wants to save the world..?

Edit: oh arceus OP are you (edited for privacy)

Edit edit: I'm not dming who this poor guy is to you do your own research. we talked in PM and he said it wasn't him anyway it's just a coincidence

PikachusbuttholeXD

how do you know it's not him? just because he told you in dms? how is that proof

marissonthrow • OP

Can you guys just help me. If you're going to be like that I'll just ask the mods to freeze the thread

ponderingmyvoltorb

just fuck your friend dude you both want it so bad it's obvious just from your post. do it for the poor women he's being a menace to if you won't do it for your own sake

marissonthrow • OP

Maybe I will.